Posts Tagged: vulnerable

Lessons in the Storm

On December 6, 2018 by marloandco With 0 Comments - loved by the Father, Uncategorized

Recently I have been faced with one of the hardest things that I have had to go through in my adult life.  While I am still in the midst of it all, there are a few things I have learned in last couple weeks.

  • I have learned that no matter what my circumstances are God never changes, His love for me never changes and His character never changes.  Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  And in life’s hardest moments, He remains faithful.  He is here as a quiet still and peaceful presence through the storm.

He is here with me in my sadness.

He is here with me in the joyous moments.

He is here with me in the moments that I don’t understand.

He is here with me when I pretend to be ok and ignore my feelings.

He is here with me when I don’t understand my feelings and can’t put a name to it.

 

  • I have learned that having community/relationships is so vital to get through life.  And it is in community that I have be vulnerable.   In being willing to share with others and I realize that I am are not alone.  Being vulnerable is risky but it is so worth it.  There is healing that can happen for myself and the other person(s) when I am vulnerable.

 

  • Allowing the community to love and care for me is important.  I am good at caring for others but I am not always good at letting others care for me. When I don’t allow others to do this for me, it robs them of the gift to care for me.  And as humans, we are created for relationship and community.  And a healthy community cares for each other.

 

  • I have learned to live in a tension of not knowing the truth but while still dealing with my emotions that may or may not be based out of reality.  It is not an easy tension to live in but is a necessary tension for me to live in.  But as I live in this tension I also rest in God.  I rest because I trust in Him as He can see whole puzzle and I only see my pieces and those pieces around me.

 

  • I have learned to admit that I am not ok when I am not ok.  And that life is hard sometimes.  And this is a hard for me to learn.  I have kept a protective wall around me that not many people pass through in general, especially when I am not doing ok emotionally.  I have learned in life to have this wall there because of past hurts and it is easier to not let people in when there is a chance to be hurt again.  But when I keep people at an arm’s length, I am only putting myself on an island.  In this island, I am on my own trying to survive and it is much harder than it needs to be sometimes.  And if I take myself off the island and take down the wall, I will not be alone and I will have others who will be there to walk beside me in life.

There is a song that I have been identifying with the last couple weeks.

Maybe it’s ok if I’m not ok
‘Cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me
Maybe it’s all right if I’m not all right
‘Cause the One who holds the stars is holding my whole life

“Maybe It’s Ok”by We are Messengers.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl5GcRrJLyw&w=560&h=315]

  • I have learned that grief and sadness goes in ebbs and flows. While I am ok most of the time, there are moments where it will comes what seems like out of nowhere.  And I have learned to allow myself experience the emotion that comes with it but not allow myself to stay there longer than I need to be.

 

  • I have learned to praise God in the midst of the storm.  It is in the storm that the praise is even more sweeter than when the storm ceases.  When I praise God in the midst of the storm, I am putting my eyes on Him rather than the storm.  He is more powerful than the storm that is in my life.  He provides peace in the midst of the storm.

 

While I don’t know when this will end, I do know that God with me in the midst of the storm.  He is teaching me new things in this storm.  I trust Him in the midst of the storm.

If you are going through a hard season in life, look at what you can learn through it all.  Look to the peace in the storm rather than focusing on the storm.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The costs of being jaded

On July 6, 2018 by marloandco With 0 Comments - loved by the Father, Uncategorized

I have been in social services for almost 10 years and in these 10 years I seen and experienced a lot.  I have gotten to meet many people through the years.  Many I was able to help but more importantly there were many that taught me life lessons.  I think of the man who taught me how to be present and actively listen rather than think of the next thing I am going to say or do  I think of the individuals who have worked so hard to get ahead but life keeps hitting them with hard moments.  But they chose to continue working towards their goals and not allow life circumstances to determine their direction of their life.

As I continued to work in social services, I became jaded.  Webster’s dictionary defines jaded as: fatigued by overwork or made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by having or seeing too much of something.  And I almost wore this jaded filter as a badge of honor.  I thought it was okay to view my clients that I worked with through this jaded filter.  In some ways, I thought I was being wise when I looked at my clients with this jaded filter.  I remember telling a coworker that I can tell she is early on in her career because of the hope and optimism that she has in a situation with a client.

I was on the way to work one morning and someone was talking on the radio about people who are jaded.  And how this jaded filter is not something that we should have.  It caught me by surprise but the more I thought about it, I realized this person was right.

I believe that every decision and belief have reactions with they good, bad or both. And having the jaded filter has reactions in our lives and the lives of those around us.  The problem with being jaded especially in social services, you are indirectly telling that person they are going to fail with what ever they are working towards.  And being jaded causes you to be cynical rather hopeful not only in the lives of our clients but also in our own lives.  Being jaded also has you always looking for the worst in a person or you have the belief that the person will never change.

I think often we adapt this jaded filter because it “protects” us from being hurt or vulnerable with others.  Another thing that happens when you have a jaded filter for a long time is that you quit dreaming for yourself and others.  This keeps most of our relationships more at a surface level and we miss the blessing that can comes from being willing to walk beside someone in their journey.

And the last affect that the jaded filter has, we are deciding the future for the person from our point of view.  We are believing what society, life circumstances or labels say about someone rather than what God says about them and who they are.

When in relationships with people, we need to be wise but we also need to be willing to get vulnerable and show them that their journey matters to us and more importantly to God.  And live in a way that others see that the belief that no one is too far gone and that they can be redeemed by God.  And they can live in the blessings that God has for them.  We are called to build relationships with others and God, walk the journey with them and believe in others even when they do not believe in themselves.

So have you become jaded?  If so what is being jaded costing you and those around you?

 

 

 

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,