Monthly Archives: January 2017
Hurt
Who will hurt for the little girl
that has been hurt so many times?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that sees the abuse and represses it to move on?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that sees hope in the future but doesn’t believe she deserves that hope?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that is crying out?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that wants to look past her past and not live in it?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that doesn’t believe she deserves what she has been given and what she will be given in the future?
Who will hold the little girl the next time she has been hurt?
I will.
Who said I will?
Me, Your Father, and I always will and always have whether you knew it or not. Your not alone despite your belief.
This poem I wrote when I was in college as I started to began to deal with affects of my past. Sometimes we need to just know that God is there holding us in the midst of pain and the tough times in life. It is in this comfort, He gives us peace for the situation we are going through. It is in His unconditional love for us that we have the strength to keep going. And the hope for a better future. In His love, healing happens if we allow Him to heal that hurt. So whatever your going through know that you have a Heavenly Father that loves you more than you can imagine. And He wants to walk through this journey called life with you. We are not created to live life alone.
Dreams
Last week my Pastor was preaching on the woman at the well (John 4:1-18). He was talking about her history and where she was at that point in her life. This woman was ridiculed by people in her community. Because of this she would go to the well when no one else was there.
One thing that my Pastor brought up was this woman may have quit dreaming and thinking that her future could be better than what it was. But one day Jesus met her at the well and changed her life. My Pastor then asked us “did you quit dreaming.” This question got me thinking. I realized in the last couple years I somewhat quit dreaming. And when I did dream I would think of a reason why it wouldn’t work. I also had become complacent in my life especially professionally. I put my own ceiling on my career and my life. But by doing this I put limits of myself and on God.
But with some changes in the last couple, this has caused me to start dreaming again. And this week, I was challenged to reflect over the last couple years and where my mindset was at that time. This reflection has made to start dreaming with limits because I serve a God who is limitless. I am no longer going to look at my dreams through the lens of my past failures and hurts. I am excited to dream again and continue making my dreams come true.
What dreams are you not pursuing because of your past, your current circumstances or the limits you put on yourself? So start dreaming, let the Father run with your dreams and take you to places you never imagined.
Restlessness
Part of having a blog of this nature, is being transparent and vulnerable with others. I do not talk about my struggles in this area of my life very often let alone for all the world to see. But I know this is something that God wants me to share with you all.
In the last month, I have been feeling a restlessness about my singleness. Most days I am happy single, love where I am at in life and would not want it any other way. But this restlessness kept coming back off and on this last month. This was more than usual. New Years eve this year it all came to a head for me. I was feeling lonely and just sick of being single(I watched a Hallmark movie which didn’t help my feelings). Tired of doing life alone as a single woman. Instead of continuing to ruminate in it, I decided to have a heart to heart with God that night before I feel asleep. I laid in my bed with my journal and just poured my heart out to God. I wrote about the feelings that I was having for about the last month or so. And just gave it to Him and let Him love on me. Did this change my singleness? No. And yes I am sure I am still going to struggle with this from time to time. But by the end of writing several pages, I felt loved by my Father and not lonely.
Whether this part of my life will ever change, I am okay with this because I know who God says who I am! And He has an amazing journey planned for me. I also know that I would rather be in God’s will and be single than being out of His will and be married or in a relationship. And no circumstance or feelings I am experiencing will change that. This is a beautiful fact. This New Years eve I have learned to embrace my feelings but in that then give it to God rather than ruminate on it. I also relearned no circumstance or feeling is going to change who God says I am.
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