Posts Tagged: love
Fixing Others
Too often we think we have to fix others. So often we think we need to have answer for someone’s struggle in life. When we think we can fix someone, we are being prideful. And what right do we have to think we can fix someone when we have not created the person? When a creator creates something, they know the ins and outs of that creation. God knows everything about His creations and knows how to heal the hurt and pain that needs healing. I have been reminded recently that I was not created to fix a situation or a person. I was created to walk beside them in their journey and empower them not lead their journey. Even when I can not fix anything about the situation or the person.
It is through walking the journey of life with someone that relationships are tested and the result of this usually they become stronger than they were before. We are called to walk in the trenches of life’s moments even when you have no idea how help someone and when it is messy. And we may feel inadequate. This is when we learn to lean on God for guidance and strength.
It is in these moments when we don’t know what to do it is God to shows up. We have to be open hearing His voice. Sometimes He will provide the answers and other times He gives us the strength to walk the journey. Jesus walked in the trenches of life with people to show them that they matter to their heavenly Father. Through the journey of walking with people and leaning on God, this is also when our relationship with God gets stronger. Because sometimes He is the only being heavenly and earthly strength that we can lean on.
Walking that journey with each person and situation in our life will look different. Sometimes we need to just be in a moment with someone and not say a word because words are not adequate. Sometimes it means to do a task with someone. Sometimes it means to be ok with not having answers or solution for their struggles. Sometimes it is pointing the person to their Creator. Sometimes it is showing love over and over again even when it is not reciprocated.
When we realize that we are not called to fix anyone, it takes the pressure off of us. It allows to walk the journey with people in freedom. And we don’t need to worry about finding that solution because their Creator will be the one to provide what they need.
Who in your life have you been trying to fix? And how has that affected your relationship with them? Who in your life do you need to walk beside them in their journey?
Command to Love
As I reflect the day, this year was a good birthday filled with family and friends. I would not have wanted my day any other way. But then I also reflect on what is going on in the world there is so much hate and division going on right now. People are maliciously hurting others because the person or people group are not the same as them. These differences happen to be in race, religion, social classes, personalities, sexual orientation and I could go on and on. Its disheartening to see people hurting others intentionally. And it is even more disheartening when we look through the lens that everyone is someone God created. He made us all so differently. And I am so glad He made us so different because life would be so boring if we were all the same.
My prayer is that when we see others we would look at them with the eyes of God and see them through eyes of love and not hate. See others through eyes of compassion and empathy. And realize every one has a story that matters. When we see people through eyes of love, we see people a whole new light. It does not mean we have to agree with everything that person says or does or that boundaries should not be in place in some relationships depending on the circumstances. But it does meant that we have to treat them with love. And when we treat people with love we begin to see that God has a greater plan for their lives and our lives. Love opens doors that were never opened before. Love brings forgiveness that was not possible before. Love brings a face and a story to the issues that we are so passionately against. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35 When God commanded us to love another, He did not say you have to love this person but not that person. We can not pick and choose on who we are called to love. There are times we hate or have a strong dislike for someone whatever reason may be. And sometimes we have good reason to hate or have a strong dislike because of the circumstances that brought it on. But God has given us a strong warning that we are not to hate others. “We love because God first loved us. Whoever says, “I love God,” but hates his brother is a liar. The one who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love the God whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:19-20 We often do not think of the words we are saying; are they showing love or is it bringing more division to a world that is full of hate and malice. Because we are too worried about our own agenda and we want to make sure people hear our agenda.
While forgiveness and love is something that is hard to do, it is necessary for yourself and the person you are forgiving. So the next time that you are ready to treat someone with less than the love that they deserve; look at them through the eyes of love. And sometimes it means asking God to help with that. Also think about the many times that you were shown love, grace, mercy and forgiveness when you did not deserve it. We need to choose love and not hate and division. Even when it means putting aside our differences and our agendas. When we choose love, we will see amazing things happen that we may not think that would have been possible before. So today let’s choose to see others through the eyes of love and see that they and their story matters. I challenge you to put your own agendas aside and just love on those that are put in your path.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKFb4rNsA20&w=560&h=315]
Faith
Sometimes we are asked to up something we love by God so that He can deepen our relationship with him while blessing others. This was me in the last couple months. In March, God asked me to give my camera to a missionary who is teaching photography classes in India. He also asked me to give my car away in the same day.
Giving my car away was not as big of a deal as my camera. This was the only camera I had and if you know me, you know that being able to create beautiful images is one of my passions in life. If I am being honest, I felt like in some ways I was giving my child away. It was not something I came to terms with right away. It was not easy but I know it was what I was supposed to do.
Around this same time, He asked me to start my photography business. In the human mind, it does not make sense to give your primary piece of equipment that you need for a photography business. But in God’s mind it made sense because He saw the whole picture. And saw pieces to this story that I did not see in my limited mind. But I had faith that He would provide for me. Because I knew He would not ask me to do something if He wasn’t going to provide for me.
Because of me giving my car, the couple that I gave my car to, they gave their car to another family that did not have a vehicle. Over the last couple months, I have saving money and I eventually saved enough money to purchase the same camera I had given away. In the meantime, God provided cameras I could borrow. Two weeks ago, I purchased another camera. The day after I bought the camera, a friend got in touch with me and I was told they are going to send me a check that is going to pay for the camera that I bought!! This friend then explained that my faith inspired her to have faith for things they want or need. Giving creates an infectious spirit and the reaction like dominoes.
When we do what God asks us to do, know that He is going to bless you and that He will provide. And sometimes the way He provides is not the way we think it is going to happen or is not in our timing. And we must be open to that. If we trust and obey God with what He asks us, He will do what He promises us that He is going to do. And He will do it in His time not in our time.
I do not share this story to show how great I am because reality it was not an easy journey and I did not completely trust Him at times. I do not have it all together nor will I ever. And I did have doubts along the way. And there were moments that I was like “God, you asked me to give my camera away and to start a photography business at the same. And here we are X amount of time later and I still do not have a camera.” But in these moments, I remembered that He is true to His promises and that He has and will continue to provide for me. Looking back, I would not change much about this whole part of my story. Because my faith and trust in Him deepened in my waiting period. Also because of my obedience and faith other people were impacted.
So, next time God asks you to do something that does not make sense, go for it. He will follow through on His promises and He will provide in ways that you do not think He will. And in the process, our relationship with Him will deepen. When He does provide, be ready to be amazed because He is a great Father and He delights in providing for His children.
“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
Validation
Recently I had pictures a friend took pictures of me. As I was looking at these pictures, I started to pick apart everything I did not like about my body. And it spiraled from there. I did not see the joy on my face from twirling around in my bright yellow dress that billowed out. And I did not see my pretty blue eyes that were passed down from generations before me. I did not see the passion I have to serve others.
I posted a few of the pictures on Facebook. I had encouraging comments made by friends. These comments lifted my self esteem for the time being.
Late on when I was texting a friend, I was reminded I am a daughter of the King. And what He says about me is more important than what I think of myself or what others think of me. We should be going to our Creator first instead of others. And I need to rest in what He says about me. Because He knows everything about me including all my flaws. And if my Creator who sees everything about me still loves me and thinks I am beautiful, how can it get better than that!
While getting encouragement from others is not wrong, it is wrong when I look for validation in people rather than my Creator. Most of the time when we have these moments, it is Satan’s distraction to our purpose that we were created for. If Satan can distract us with thinking about what is wrong with us rather than about our purpose, then Satan has us right where he wants us. Because it is saying that when God created us it was not good enough. Reality is when God created us, He created us exactly how He wants us to be.
God made you for a specific purpose and with out you in this world there would be a piece missing in God’s plan. Some days I think God looks at the world as a puzzle and we are all piece in that puzzle. Each piece of puzzle serves a purpose in a puzzle. So if we do not fulfill the purpose we are created for then a piece will be missing in God’s masterpiece. Let’s celebrate who God created us to be!! And find our identity in our Creator and not in other people.
Photo credit goes to Jennifer Weaver.
Love
Why do we feel the need to always give our opinion or give our take on a situation or a person? (I know its ironic that I am asking this questions on a blog.) But today I read a Facebook post that someone made a judgement about a different religion. As far as I know the person that made the judgement did not know the people they made the judgements about. It got me thinking why do we feel the need to make judgements about others just because of our differences. Too often we use our differences to make judgements to put a divider between us and the person we make judgements about.
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandments, this is how he answered this question. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus did not say that you don’t need to love the person that believes different than you. Or you don’t need to love the person that looks different than you. Or you don’t need to love the person who has hurt you and does not deserve your love. Or you don’t need to love the person the homeless person that crosses your path. Or you don’t need to love the person who decides to love differently than you. There were no exceptions in this commandment. God made every person on this earth different. We are called to love others. Too often we find a reason to not show God’s love to others. We should take time to get to know someone who we may want to pass a judgement on. If we did this we would find the person is not as different as we think. And most likely we would find this person is amazing and they can add a great value to our life.
Another thing to remember is that our words have impact. Too often we say words without thinking about the impact they have. Too often the words we say carelessly have an impact for a lifetime. It is up to us if we want our words to impact positively or negatively.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHcVTbyJqis&w=560&h=315]
Betrayal
“While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.” Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.
Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.”
Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him. With that, one of Jesus’ companions reached for his sword, drew it out and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?”
In that hour Jesus said to the crowd, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? Every day I sat in the temple courts teaching, and you did not arrest me. But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.” Matthew 26:46-56
I read this passage this morning in my devotions. And after I read it, I started to think about the emotions Jesus went through in this moment. Jesus built a friendship with a man who He knew that was going to betray him. Jesus did this to fulfill His purpose on earth.
I had to think if I knew someone was going to betray or hurt me, I would stay away from this person and not build a friendship with this person. But then I think to myself what if I knew building a friendship with someone who is going to betray/hurt me, will lead them to be introduced to His love or the friendship will lead them or me to their or my purpose in life. Would this make the hurt and the betrayal worth it if this would happen? While I am not advocating for us to willingly put ourselves in situations that we are going to be doormats and we are going to be abused. What I am saying Jesus still chose to build a relationship with Judas, so that our sins can be forgiven.
Sometimes we are asked to do hard things in life. Like show mercy and grace to a person who has betrayed us over and over again so this person can see the unconditional love of Jesus or to adopt a child that might have medical issues because of the choices of the biological parents. While God does not call us to an easy life, we can have the comfort that He is with us in those hard moments of life. And we are not doing it alone.
So what hard thing in life is God asking you to do?
Identity
Who are you? What is your identity in? Most of us answer by describing our roles in life. We have many roles we play in life. For myself some of the roles are aunt, friend, daughter, photographer, sister, etc. While the roles in my life are part of who I am and they are important to me, it is not where my identity lies. If I find my identity in these roles I will not be satisfied. Because I am finding my satisfaction in something that will always leave a void that only God can fill. “The Bible says that our real problem is that every one of us is building our identity on something besides Jesus.” Timothy Keller
We sometimes answer this question not only with the roles that are in our lives. But sometimes with our past or what has been spoken over us or labels given to us by others in our lives. One example of this would be victim. We sometimes are victims because of what has happened to us in our lives. If we are not careful, it can become our identity. When we think about who we are, we think about what has happened and this becomes who we are. Many times when we are a victim, something is lost and we need to grieve that loss and the hurt. And sometimes we can use their life circumstances to help others through similar situations. But it should not be where our identity lies.
In my own life when I think about the question of who am I, too often the roles in my life come to mind. Rather than where my true identity lies and that is in God and Jesus.
I am a daughter of the King. He is my Father and Creator. “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—” John 1:12
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” 1 John 3:1-2
“For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.” Galatians 3:26
I am His princess and I was accepted into a royal family when I chose Jesus as Lord over my life. “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
I am a sinner saved by grace. Jesus paid the penalty for my sin. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23
I live in freedom and I am forgiven as a child of God. “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—” Romans 6:6
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” Romans 5:10
I am loved by a Father unconditionally no matter what I have been through and no matter what I do in my life. His love for me is not contingent on my actions. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” John 15:9
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
So I ask you again who or what is your identity in? Is it in in our past or the roles that we fulfill in life or is it in our Creator who is the only one that can fill those voids we have?
A Gentleman
Recently I read Matthew 19:26, in this verse it states that with God all things are possible. After reading this, I began thinking about situations in my friends and families’ lives. These situations had a common dominator, people are making decisions in their lives that are destructive. These decisions are hurting others in their lives. And my thought after reading this verse was, “God, you have the power to make people change. Why don’t you? It would create less hurt.”
God’s answer to me was the answer of a gentleman. He said “because I do not force myself on others.” I am glad I serve a God who is a gentleman. Because let’s face it I do not do well if someone forces a decision on me, nor do most people. And if God would force us to make decisions or if he made all our decisions then we would just be mere puppets.
God has given us choice. He allows to choose if we are going to accept the gift of grace that He offers us. As much as I wish these individuals who are making these destructive decisions, would see God’s grace and what freedom they could have if they would allow God change their heart. I can not make this choice for them or I can not make them make a different choice. The only I can do is love these people and show them what unconditional love looks like. God’s love is what changes hearts. And we should build relationships with others in the context of showing His love. A saying that we use at work fits well with this. “No significant change happens outside a significant relationship.” So who do you need to spend time with to show the love of a heavenly Father who loves them more they could imagine?
Hurt
Who will hurt for the little girl
that has been hurt so many times?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that sees the abuse and represses it to move on?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that sees hope in the future but doesn’t believe she deserves that hope?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that is crying out?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that wants to look past her past and not live in it?
Who will hurt for the little girl
that doesn’t believe she deserves what she has been given and what she will be given in the future?
Who will hold the little girl the next time she has been hurt?
I will.
Who said I will?
Me, Your Father, and I always will and always have whether you knew it or not. Your not alone despite your belief.
This poem I wrote when I was in college as I started to began to deal with affects of my past. Sometimes we need to just know that God is there holding us in the midst of pain and the tough times in life. It is in this comfort, He gives us peace for the situation we are going through. It is in His unconditional love for us that we have the strength to keep going. And the hope for a better future. In His love, healing happens if we allow Him to heal that hurt. So whatever your going through know that you have a Heavenly Father that loves you more than you can imagine. And He wants to walk through this journey called life with you. We are not created to live life alone.
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