Posts Tagged: puzzle
6. Broken
I remember the day that I had my way up call, I remember feeling so broken. Like there wasn’t anything that could take all my broken pieces that I felt that day and make sense of them let alone put that back together. I felt like glass that was shattered into a million shards of glass. I wasn’t sure what to do with my brokenness that day. Along with feeling broken, I felt empty and tired like there was not left in me anymore to give. Looking back I realize that being broken is where He wanted me because it meant that I was at the end of my rope. And I could no longer do anything to fix the broken pieces within me because I did not have the energy or the desire to do so.
In the midst of this broken feeling, I knew I needed to give the feeling of brokenness to God. I had to rely on Him completely. At this point with feeling the way I did that day, it meant that I was at the point that I was willing to surrender and possibly walk away from everything I knew career wise. Because He was and is the only one that can take my broken, empty and tired self and make me whole again. I knew that He would start by taking my shatter pieces, putting them together to make sense of my brokenness and that it would eventually create a beautiful picture again.
“He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
While giving to this feeling of brokenness to God, did not change anything physically and emotionally about my situation that day. But it did mean that I did not have to walk alone through this journey of becoming whole again and that He is going to heal my brokenness.
“Even when times are rough and you are in ‘deep waters’ God will be right by your side, leading and guiding you through your worst.” Isaiah 43:2
***This is part of a series of blog posts of me sharing about my burnout and things I have been learning through this. They are numbered in the order that they are written in and to indicate that they are part of this series.***
Validation
Recently I had pictures a friend took pictures of me. As I was looking at these pictures, I started to pick apart everything I did not like about my body. And it spiraled from there. I did not see the joy on my face from twirling around in my bright yellow dress that billowed out. And I did not see my pretty blue eyes that were passed down from generations before me. I did not see the passion I have to serve others.
I posted a few of the pictures on Facebook. I had encouraging comments made by friends. These comments lifted my self esteem for the time being.
Late on when I was texting a friend, I was reminded I am a daughter of the King. And what He says about me is more important than what I think of myself or what others think of me. We should be going to our Creator first instead of others. And I need to rest in what He says about me. Because He knows everything about me including all my flaws. And if my Creator who sees everything about me still loves me and thinks I am beautiful, how can it get better than that!
While getting encouragement from others is not wrong, it is wrong when I look for validation in people rather than my Creator. Most of the time when we have these moments, it is Satan’s distraction to our purpose that we were created for. If Satan can distract us with thinking about what is wrong with us rather than about our purpose, then Satan has us right where he wants us. Because it is saying that when God created us it was not good enough. Reality is when God created us, He created us exactly how He wants us to be.
God made you for a specific purpose and with out you in this world there would be a piece missing in God’s plan. Some days I think God looks at the world as a puzzle and we are all piece in that puzzle. Each piece of puzzle serves a purpose in a puzzle. So if we do not fulfill the purpose we are created for then a piece will be missing in God’s masterpiece. Let’s celebrate who God created us to be!! And find our identity in our Creator and not in other people.
Photo credit goes to Jennifer Weaver.
Recent Comments